Relationships Talk

Out of all of the Bachelors (there have been 22 so far), Sean Lowe is the only one who actually stayed married to the “winner” of his season, Catherine (Giudici) Lowe. So, wouldn’t he be fans’ top choice for dating advice from the franchise? Sean Lowe created a dating app that allows your friends to help you out. Unfortunately, he’s not personally available to dole out dating wisdom to his fans or recommend some viable candidates to every single person, but this new app does just that.

According to a press release, the app called Vouch “enlists your friends to help you find your own bachelor or bachelorette.” That’s such a simple, yet brilliant concept. Who’s more trustworthy to vet prospective date than a close friend? Single people can sign up for the Vouch app, and then they invite their family and friends to join them as “Vouchers” to build up their profiles, approve matches, and as the name suggests, “vouch” for them. The press release makes a very valid point:

“You’re already showing your dating apps to your friends, so why not let all of them, even married ones like Sean and Catherine, get in on the fun?”

If people are going to show their friends screenshots of their matches and conversations anyway, why not just get the friends involved right from the jump?

Now that the app is live, the former Bachelor star is promoting it, of course. Anyone who follows Sean on social media knows how funny he is, so a hilarious commercial is just what his followers expected. Who wouldn’t want to join after watching this?

Sean pokes fun of himself as the Bachelor lead during the ad, saying, “I didn’t just get by on charm. I had lots of friends rooting for me.” He also said, “Unless 26 random women are delivered to your rented mansion, dating can be hard and lonely, but it doesn’t have to be so isolating. Now you can get your friends involved.”

He even alluded to his unforgettable hometown date during Emily Maynard’s season of The Bachelorette when he pranked her by pretending he still lived at home and had a bedroom full of stuffed animals. During the ad, he joked about not having skeletons in his closet and bunch of teddy bears tumbled down when he opened it. Such a great throwback reference.

Aside from the on point (and humorous) Bachelor references, Sean raises some key points in the commercial. He asks, “Your friends know you best. They help you choose your hair color or choose your Fantasy lineup, but what about your love life?” Now you can get their friendly input in the romance department too.

He even pointed out the flaws in the other dating apps out there: “Other apps only give you a picture, a name, and an age. Are you picking a partner or a bottle of wine? You need context.” So. True. Context truly is essential to determining potential matches.

The Vouch app just seems like a solid idea for many reasons. Why not put trust into close family, friends, and the one Bachelor lead who’s actually married to (and has two adorable children with) the woman he gave the final rose to? That just sounds like the ideal formula for a lasting relationship.

If you like shopping for hours on end, online dating may be perfect for you. You can spend days and weeks perusing profiles, exchanging emails, and dreaming of meeting Mr. Virtual Big. But if you’re a woman who takes a more wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am approach to shopping for a man, you may require a few tips that will help you expedite the cyber dating process. After all, the point is to sign up, meet someone, and get off (the site, that is). After the jump, some advice to help you find your perfect match.

1. Match.com is a meat market. Just say no. Most dudes on there are pervs. If you want to wade through 100 emails and winks a day from pervs to get one non-perv, by all means, be our guest. Just remember you’re paying for that luxury. Find another site that’s more relationship-oriented, if that’s what you’re looking for.

2. Approach date shopping like book editors pick books. Book editors are deluged by manuscripts from agents who are trying to get their authors published. The way editors deal with this onslaught is by looking for a reason to reject each manuscript. That way, they only take the best. Harsh? Yes. Kind? No. Time waster it is not.

3. Most guys will reveal their real selves within three to five emails. Honestly, most guys aren’t a match for you, and your job is to figure out which ones are and which ones aren’t as efficiently as possible. After you’ve avoided, blocked, and ignored the obvious nos, see if the chosen crop of prospective candidates can get through three to five email exchanges with you without killing you with boredom, offering to have sex with you, or telling you about their recent term at the insane asylum.

4. Don’t go out with dudes you’re not that into. There’s a group of women out there who make it hard for the rest, because they go out with guys they’re not that interested in, they string those guys along, and they make guys feel like all women are playing games. Would you want to go out on a date with a guy who’s not that into you because he was bored or didn’t want to hurt your feelings? We think not.

5. Remember what matters. Don’t go out with a living Mr. Potato Head, and if tow truck drivers don’t float your boat, by all means, pass, but remember what is important here. Heck, make a list. If looks, income, and body type are at the top of your list, well, bully for you, but you might want to reassess your priorities. What matters in the long run, or, better yet, reality? Intelligence, kindness, and emotional generosity. Find those, and you’ve picked a winner.

6. Don’t engage in a marathon courtship. If he’s survived the emails test and lives within 100 miles, go out with the guy within a week. Email, dating profiles, and, God forbid, chat are nothing compared to what you’ll learn IRL. It’s better to know for sure one way or another than build up a set of unrealistic expectations that neither of you can fulfill.

7. Be careful. There are some real weirdos out there. And liars. And scammers. Find out what his full name is and Google the heck out of him. Meet him in a public place, let someone know who you’re going out with and check in with your point person mid-date, and do not get wasted. Stranger danger happens! You don’t want to wish you’d looked out for yourself better in hindsight, when it’s too late.

8. Get happy. Nobody wants to hear about how you hate your new haircut, you can’t stand your job, and you’re totally lonely. These things may be true, but try and save them for a later date. I mean, would you want to go out with a guy who was negative about his life, who he is, and the world in general? Dating is supposed to be fun. If your life is a Hollywood movie, wouldn’t you want it to have a happy ending?

9. Know what you’re really after. If you just got out of a relationship, and you’re all hurt and wounded, so you tell yourself, “I don’t really want to be with anyone right now,” even though you really do, you need to get your facts straight with yourself. If you tell your friends, “I don’t care, I just want to have a one-night stand!” but you feel crappy after you do, you’re kidding yourself. Meditate on what you really want, and it may manifest right in front of you.

10. There’s nothing wrong with being picky. Girlfriends telling you that your standards are too high? Your mother advising you that you should just settle? Your boss wants to set you up with the guy who operates the elevator? Ignore them. When you see what you want, you’ll know it. Lowering the bar, going on pointless dates, and doubting yourself will only prolong the time it takes for you to meet The One. Then, you can get the hell off that dating site.

Original by: Susannah Breslin

We thank our lucky stars every day that Rihanna descended from her godly palace in the skies to bless us lesser beings. The Wild Thoughts singer  recently dropped some nuggets of wisdom for those of us trapped in a dating spiral and it’s valuable advice we’re definitely going to be taking to heart.

Beyond her wig-snatching British Vogue cover shoot for their upcoming September fashion issue, Rihanna also sat down for a chat with their editor-in-chief Edward Enninful to talk about everything from embracing your thicc-ness (‘you want to have a butt, then you have a gut’) to finding the perfect person.

She said, ‘I think a lot of people meet people and then they’re dating the idea of what the person could become, and that person never shows up and then they’re just mad disappointed.’

If you’re sitting around waiting for your shy hipster partner to magically transform into an extroverted prep, you might want to rethink a few things rather than trying to cultivate them like lettuce. While there’s nothing wrong with having standards, people aren’t projects and if somebody’s trying to mould you into a different person then you probably shouldn’t be dating each other.

Rihanna advised, ‘A person can always get better, they can always get worse, but you’ve got to be fine with what you met them as.’

To be honest, they’re words those of us in the dating pool definitely need to hear. With the string of dating apps and recent trends like ghosting, orbiting and stashing on the rise, it’s super easy to feel like you aren’t good enough for half the people in your radius – or sometimes be a little too judgmental of those you’re swiping across.

It’s no surprise that RiRi laid down the law, as she has always been completely and unapologetically herself whether she’s dominating the Met Gala’s best dressed list with her bold choices or calling out Snapchat for some truly heinous advertising.

If we all lived as authentically as Rihanna, the world would probably be a better place TBH.

(It would probably be a hell of a lot more stylish too.)

Via Marie Claire UK

Comedian Patton Oswalt lost his wife Michelle McNamara in April 2016. They’d been happily married for 10 years. He has talked publicly about his grief, calling it more of a “numb slog” than a “healing journey,” and his experiences raising his 7-year-old daughter Alice without his wife.

Patton has used his talents as a comedian to work through his frustrations and pain with his characteristic biting sense of humor. He has been so candid about his grieving process that some of his fans were surprised to hear of his recent remarriage to Meredith Salenger.

Meredith had reached out to the recently widowed actor on Facebook, and they’d fallen for one another very quickly. They tied the knot in November 2017, about 18 months after Michelle’s death.

“It just felt like worlds were connecting, and everything was okay again,” Patton said. “I’ve only ever felt that level of joy once before in my life, and it was so profound and perfect it felt greedy to ever wish for it again.”

Patton’s re-marriage sparked a debate about life after grief. How long should a widow or widower wait before committing to another partner? How do you introduce a new person into a healing family? What is the right path forward? Well, that’s up to you, but one niche dating site called WidowsOrWidowers.com aims to provide thoughtful guidance and insights from people who have gone through similar experiences.

Founded in 2004, WidowsOrWidowers.com is the longest-running dating site designed exclusively for widows and widowers in the US. Annie Hunte originally launched the site in the UK after she lost her husband and realized how difficult it was to meet single men who understood what she was going through. She established a compassionate network to support bereaved singles going through unthinkable pain and heartache.

Today, WidowsOrWidowers.com has sister sites in the UK, Australia, Canada, Ireland, New Zealand, and South Africa. Singles around the world have used this platform to talk about their grief and find a path forward with the help of people who can offer empathy, support, friendship, and even a second chance at love.

Answering Common Questions With Experience & Wisdom

WidowsOrWidowers.com has steadily grown in the US, and it is particularly popular in large metropolitan areas in New York, California, Florida, and Pennsylvania. This free, family-run dating site gives a voice to widows and widowers across the country.

Annie and her son Edward have worked hard to understand the needs of American widows and widowers and provide a place where they feel welcomed and safe.

Edward said he has spent the last several months conducting SEO research to find out how visitors found WidowsOrWidowers and what questions they had about dating after the death of a partner. “These are people who might not be ready to date again,” he said. “They have a lot of questions and need good information.”

“Remarriage after becoming widowed is definitely not about forgetting your previous partner.” — WidowsOrWidowers.com

Annie has experienced loss herself and worked alongside widows and widowers of all backgrounds, so she is in a unique position to inform a niche audience and reassure them that they’re not alone. “We’re using the resources we have to answer questions, ” she said. “We’re providing as many answers as we can and hoping to become the go-to destination for widows and widowers worldwide.”

The WidowsOrWidowers Dating Advice section covers many different dating topics from the perspective of a widow or widower. The blog posts discuss everything from how to tell if someone’s interested to how to introduce a date to children. These are important and sensitive issues, and the writers take a thorough and thoughtful approach to advising singles on how best to proceed.

“This article is very good. It’s so true,” said Patricia, a widow who’d lost her husband of 35 years in 2017. “There was so much that I took for granted.”

WidowsOrWidowers is a bastion of hope for singles who may feel marginalized or forgotten in the modern dating scene. “Our focus is on what we can do to reach out to widows and widowers in the US,” Edward said. “And draw them to us.”

Preparing the Bereaved for the Online Dating Scene

Thousands of people have signed up to WidowsOrWidowers.com looking for a fresh start. The online community offers a safe, nonjudgmental place for singles who have loved and lost and now feel ready to think about dating someone new. Some users are still raw from a recent death while others have spent decades alone and yearn to have someone in their life again.

WidowsOrWidowers.com respects the emotional journey of every individual on the site and offers reliable resources and tools to help them along the way. Whether the dating site is recommending potential matches or highlighting a self-help book written by a widow, WidowsOrWidowers.com focuses on positive solutions to heartache.

“It’s an injection of positivity in their lives,” Edward said. “It’s giving them a place where they can be open to talking about whatever is going on in their lives.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com offers invaluable support to widows and widowers in the US and abroad.

The dating site’s advice articles and inspiring stories can validate the experiences and emotions of singles who may feel guilty or worried about moving on. Maybe they’ve never tried online dating, or they’re concerned how their in-laws will react. WidowsOrWidowers.com addresses these and other issues with a down-to-earth and optimistic tone.

“We talk from experience, and that’s reassuring,” Annie said. “Widows and widowers are not like other singles. Most of them have rather sad backgrounds they have to overcome if they want to start dating again.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com is a Resource for Grieving Singles

After the announcement of his 2017 engagement, Patton pushed back against criticism that this second marriage came too soon after his wife’s passing. He tweeted that he doesn’t care what the “bitter grub worms” say — he has found a way to be happy again in a new life, and that’s all that matters to him.

“After the darkness, I went through all the ways I had to strengthen myself to try to recognize joy again,” Patton said. “Meredith was a beacon I had to reach for.”

WidowsOrWidowers.com exists to help other singles find the courage and strength to move forward with their lives and find love after grief. Everyone’s journey is different, and it’s never going to be easy, but the dating site offers plenty of resources and support systems to help people through the healing process.

“We value the life experience of each member,” according to the website. “At WidowsOrWidowers.com, it is our number one goal to help you find that special someone who will understand what you’ve been through.”